"Freak out, let it go Just freak out, let it go"

You know those mornings where you just think to your self, "yeah this is going to be a great day". But then there's also those morning where you think "Kill me, kill me now" Lately I've been having mornings like the later. I feel like its just a snowball effect. and then round 6 p.m you think, that's it I'm going to bed, only to find out its 6 pm and that's just depressing to go to bed before the sun.

To give you an example of what the heck I'm talking about let me map out just one of my recent days. I should have known it was going to be a trying day. Those days always began with waking up from a really great dream. Now I can't remember exactly was I was doing in this dream but I do remember it was sunny, and my hair was somewhere between Catharine zeta jones and the little mermaid. It was a good one. Two nights ago I could not get my feet warm while I was trying to sleep. So I took out my heating pad and wrapped it around my feet then fell asleep. Well when I woke up that precious little heating pad had moved it's way up to my head. Needless to say I woke up in a pool of sweat. Awesome. The best part was I had just straightened my unruly curly hair the day before and now half of it was doing an impression of Carrot Top. After I dealt with all that I went down stairs to make something for breakfast. I made the mistake of opening the fridge. A lovely jar of mayonnaise fell out of the side door and of course broke. There was mayonnaise on my feet, all over the floor, the fridge, the table (we have a small kitchen) and all I could do was just stare. As I watched my worst nightmare of smelly gooey sickness start spreading to all the dark places like under the fridge I seriously contemplated packing up all our things and moving before even beginning to clean that crud up. It was just one of those messes where you wish you could tap out and let someone else handle it. The snowball has begun. No hot water for my shower next. Poked my self in the eye with eyeliner, which turned out pretty bad seeing how I left the house looking like one eyed winkey. Reached in my new purse to get my keys to find some lotion had exploded. Cut my hand at work. The list goes on and on. When I got home I was not a happy camper. I had a great idea though. I was going to clear some space, turn on some music and just dance like in Greys Anatomy. It wasn't all that bad, I started dancing and thought "hey this is working! i feel better!" That's right about the time where I got a little too into it and decided to hoist my self up on brad swivel work chair. It never really occurred to me that those kind of chairs are not meant for a healthy dancing girl, after one spin, that thing flung me off, head first into brads stereo. I wish I could say it was a soft landing. I'm sure I resembled at that moment a crate of mannequin parts being shipped off. Limbs every which way. The end result was an unharmed stereo and a few bruises on me. I got into bed that night I felt the heating pad. I ripped that sucker up and threw it out.

"Cry me a river"

Brad and I just watched the last episode of the tonight show with Conan O'brien. I cried. I felt dumb but then I realized that oh hey I'm crying! I never cry. So to be honest I kind of felt relieved seeing how I was worried about my stone cold heart. Maybe it's a little off that I decided to make my soft and squishy emotions debut on a late night talk show but hey that's the kind of girl I am. I have always been a fan of Conan O'brien, for as long as I can remember. He truly is the last face I see before I shut my eyes at night. I guess I should add that I love my husbands face more right now. But I really do watch his show every night on hulu (my fav) before I go to sleep. It's an end of an era. So if you cried as well, don't feel embarrassed. Don't feel ashamed. Don't feel badly that you didn't even have one little tear shed on your own wedding day and had to hand your new husband your handkerchief that your mother made you in case you cried and you even bought expensive waterproof mascara because surely you'd be a mess and you needed to take pictures but oh wait you have a stone cold iron-plated heart so you remained untouched even though you tried to think of something really sad so that people wouldn't think you were weird and not "feeling" the moment. No no, you save the good stuff for cancellations of late night talk shows. It's totally normal. For the record I was "feeling" it. Just not as much as when CoCo said good-bye I guess. Whoops.

p.s: yesterday I made the best cd mix of all time. seriously it's epic I even may have teared up while playing it. Just don't tell Brad. I am thinking I want to do my first blog give-away! So if you want to win one of my amazing mind-blowing face melting mix's leave a comment below. Also you probably will have a 1 in 5 chance so I'd do it. It'll make you happy. And I cant promise anything, but you'll probably lose 5 pounds just listening to it. It's that good.

"Dancing at discos Eating cheese on toast Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy"

I think I go to the gym every day so that I can come home and eat this: Brie Cheese (my fav) magically paired with a baguette:

I'm probably not losing any weight doing this and going to the gym is pointless but I don't care I love it. Which brings me to my next point, I think that I was born in the wrong era/country. I believe I am a sun-kissed, 1940's, french woman masking as an albino, 2010 girl living in Ohio. Why? I don't know, but I'll just keep playing this role until I figure it all out and can finally unveil the true me. I'll start planning the party now. I already have the menu (see pictures above). On another random note, I'm not sure if I should do this or not but I feel like I need to publicly claim and document this as evidence. I figured out the name I am going to give one of my daughters (no my eggo is not prego)....... get excited...... June Wallis.... Little June bug... Junie Bee..... the list goes on and on. I LOVE it... so don't steal it our I will hunt you down. Also I need to have the baby in June to have it make sense. Which means I need to get pregnant.... well 3 months ago... crap.

Father, I can not tell a lie, I cut the tree

I have a confession to make. I need to be freed from this false identity i have been portraying. Get ready. My heart is beating as I type. It's confession time.

I Love Wal-mart.

Phew. That feels good to finally say it! I no longer have to quickly make excuses if ever caught shopping at wal-mart like " oh my normal fancy grocery store was closed today because they had to polish their marble floors, so I had to come to this disgusting place, can you believe it?, ugh!" . I no longer have to join in the discussions of the grossness of my hidden love. Because here's the thing people. You just can't get a better deal. Where else can you buy fabric, fruit, cotton balls and window washing fluid under 10 bucks. Where? Where else can you go to the bank, get your nails done, pick up some milk, park your RV for a week at a time, drop off your dry cleaning, get your hair corn-rowed, eat a subway sandwich and rent a redbox dvd all under one roof?

Sure you have to deal with check out clerks that act as if you took them on a date and then never called. Sure you are surrounded by the smell of hygiene strikes and tobacco. And okay occasionally you'll pick up a box a cereal that is curiously covered in some unknown sticky substance. Ok, you'll probably run into the special feature from America's most wanted last night. And yes you probably will awkwardly witness a moment between shameless mother and naughty child that should really be saved for home. And okay while we're being honest the walk from your car to the door is a human version of frogger. But I don't care. Because between the cheap deals, unbeatable people watching and "friendly" fun looking greeters, wal-mart is the best.

-wow that feels good to get of my chest.

New Years Resolutions

I have a big list of new years resolutions for the big 1-0. Lululemon.com has a great program you can use to create your goals and keep on top of them. To name a few:

:Read the book of mormon

:Write in my journal everyday people, everyday!

:Take more pictures

:Purdge the closetola

:Get down to my goal weight by our anniversery only 7 more pounds!

:Read a new book once a month

:run 5 miles without stopping (probabily the hardest one on this list)

:pay off my credit card (suzie ormon would be proud!)

:practice rockband for at least 20 minutes a day

:drink more water and take a multi-vitamin everyday

:more fruits!

:even more veggies!

:Only sweets on sundays!

and the list goes on and on! But so far I'm doing good. My little honey bunches of oats (sorry brad) got me a wonderful gift for chirstmas this year. It looks like this:

Its called the ten year journal, your get four lines for everyday and each paige is a day for ten years!! Its perfect for me! And so far I have wrote in it everyday!