Father, I can not tell a lie, I cut the tree

I have a confession to make. I need to be freed from this false identity i have been portraying. Get ready. My heart is beating as I type. It's confession time.

I Love Wal-mart.

Phew. That feels good to finally say it! I no longer have to quickly make excuses if ever caught shopping at wal-mart like " oh my normal fancy grocery store was closed today because they had to polish their marble floors, so I had to come to this disgusting place, can you believe it?, ugh!" . I no longer have to join in the discussions of the grossness of my hidden love. Because here's the thing people. You just can't get a better deal. Where else can you buy fabric, fruit, cotton balls and window washing fluid under 10 bucks. Where? Where else can you go to the bank, get your nails done, pick up some milk, park your RV for a week at a time, drop off your dry cleaning, get your hair corn-rowed, eat a subway sandwich and rent a redbox dvd all under one roof?

Sure you have to deal with check out clerks that act as if you took them on a date and then never called. Sure you are surrounded by the smell of hygiene strikes and tobacco. And okay occasionally you'll pick up a box a cereal that is curiously covered in some unknown sticky substance. Ok, you'll probably run into the special feature from America's most wanted last night. And yes you probably will awkwardly witness a moment between shameless mother and naughty child that should really be saved for home. And okay while we're being honest the walk from your car to the door is a human version of frogger. But I don't care. Because between the cheap deals, unbeatable people watching and "friendly" fun looking greeters, wal-mart is the best.

-wow that feels good to get of my chest.